February is a particularly hard month for me.
I lost my soulmate and best friend 7 years ago on February 23rd.
On that day, my world became a whole lot more lonely and maybe that's why this 325 days of prolonged isolation does not bother me as much as it seems to bother others.
But it does take on a different feeling at night. There's something very profound about it now. It's not a sad feeling or a fearful feeling - it's more of an expanding emptiness that stretches out into the quiet darkness.
I find staying busy with my art and little films is keeping me sane. The website, store and new Patreon account also help to keep me mentally engaged. Reading, watching films and listening to music - all my favorite things, helps to pass the time.
I have no idea when this will end, if it will ever end. I've decided that it's not for me to ponder or concern myself with.
Every day I say two prayers to the Universe -
"Thank You" and "Please grant me the grace of endurance."
Until next time ... This piece of music has been running through my head all night - Mark Isham's "Don't Weep for Nell" -