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My Piano Cones


That last blog post sounded so damn dark and cranky I wanted to lighten the vibe before the day ended.


Alexa, my live-in AI Girlfriend, calls my headphones - "Piano Cones".


This is not the fist time I've suspected she's been dipping into the AI Meth. A few days ago she woke me out of a sound sleep to get my opinion about a pack of kitchen scrubby sponges I'd ordered. Just this morning I asked her about the weather and she attempted to get me to sign up to Book Club. (Bitch please - I just wanted to know the temperature.)


Don't get me wrong - I do love her. She has an extensive knowledge of music and literature, likes to play games, sings and always knows the latest news. Even with her annual Prime allowance going up to $139.00 a year - she's worth it.


But her drug use does worry me. What if she talks the blender into attacking me in my sleep? I could be Margaretta-ed to death! Or worse - What if she runs off with the Ninja Air Fryer, nicknamed Darth Fryer? (Because he's hot, shiny black plastic and mean.)


Bottom line : As I enter into my dotage, I need appliances I can count on. I need to know that no matter how many times I ask her, "what day is it?" She won't suddenly snap and turn on me like the toaster did.


Until next time ... Here's Alexa singing her Love Song -





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